Hello All!
It has been quite a while. I became a junior in college since then so that's pretty cool. I survived several project classes I inadvertently took at the same time. It was not a fun time. Despite being on track, if not ahead, in terms of credit hours, I still deluge myself with the distressing concoction of worry and uncertainty with the slightest hint of the bile of fear. I worry so much about the future sometimes that doing anything now seems absurd! I mean, how could I enjoy the crisp blue day gifted to me this morning when the weight of 2 years of college fees loom over my head like a hungry lion ready to pounce and tear into my supple boy flesh! -ehem-
Well I have finally learned my lesson: Consider yourself and know when to relax. It wasn’t a sudden epiphany mind you, oh no. This has been a long time coming. It wasn’t when I started skipping meals, it wasn’t when my fewer meals consisted of small salads to watch my weight, it wasn’t when I took on more work for projects while fighting off some unknown sickness, it wasn’t the first time I collapsed, it wasn’t the second time when I collapsed in front of an advisor, and even still it wasn’t the time I collapsed in class and had a panic attack, it wasn’t when I discovered my diet was giving me dangerously low and unstable blood sugar, but I was closer when the vertigo from aforementioned health problem sent me from class, and then, finally, after much internal debate, I started considering that taking it a bit easier might be the right idea.
So my next set of classes will hopefully not be too strenuous and I will not be so steadfast in my resolution to drive myself into ground with my work ethic. Great things can be learned from disasters sometimes, like a glorious train wreck. Full Circle.